Becoming a non-smoker vs trying not to smoke

Let’s be honest, quitting smoking isn’t easy and if you’ve tried before, you already know that. You make it through the morning without a cigarette and then afternoon comes and somehow you feel like you’re in a negotiation with yourself. You may not be smoking, but you’re thinking about it constantly. That’s what trying not to smoke looks like and it can be exhausting.  

On the other hand, becoming a non-smoker is about changing your mindset. Instead of seeing yourself as a smoker who is holding out, you start to see yourself as someone who simply doesn’t smoke. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it can change how you handle cravings, stress and the situations that used to come with a cigarette.

Trying not to smoke: still a smoker, just holding out

When you’re trying not to smoke, the cigarette is still the centre of the picture. Every craving becomes a decision, every stressful moment becomes a risk and every day a test you need to pass again. You still see yourself as a smoker who is currently going without.

That label may matter more than you think. Researchers have explored how the way people identify themselves as smokers or non-smokers relates to their behaviour. In one study, people who identified as non-smokers after quitting were more likely to report continued abstinence at the three-month follow-up than those who still identified as smokers. The association was not statistically significant at six months, so the findings suggest a possible link rather than proof that changing your identity prevents relapse.¹

The early days can also be challenging because cravings don't happen in isolation. In a study of 300 women during their first week of quitting, negative mood, alcohol and being around other people who smoke were associated with stronger urges and a greater likelihood of a smoking lapse. When all three occurred together, urges and lapse risk were highest.² These are everyday situations, but they can make quitting harder, particularly when smoking is still part of how you see yourself.

If you want to understand what’s happening behind the scenes, our post on why quitting cigarettes is more than willpower explains more.

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Becoming a non-smoker: not smoking becomes who you are

Becoming a non-smoker doesn’t mean you never feel a craving. You can still miss smoking, feel tempted or find certain situations difficult but the difference is in how you choose to approach those moments.

That shift seems to matter. In a survey of people in England who had recently quit, just over 80% already thought of themselves as non-smokers and those who did were more likely to still be smoke-free three months later, even after other factors were taken into account. However, the study did not establish that adopting a non-smoker identity directly causes people to stay smoke-free.¹

So what does that look like in practice? A lot of it comes down to how you think about the change you're making. “I can't have a cigarette” can make it feel like something is being taken away, while “I'm choosing not to smoke” puts the focus back on your decision. That doesn't mean you have to convince yourself you'll never want a cigarette again. It's about deciding how you want to respond when the urge comes up.  

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A slip doesn’t undo your progress

Becoming a non-smoker isn’t a straight line. Most people need more than one attempt, and each one is a chance to learn something. A slip doesn’t put you back at square one, it shows you which triggers or situations need a better plan next time. Our posts on navigating social smoking triggers and healthy habits to replace the smoke break can help you build that plan.

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Support makes the shift easier

You don’t have to do this on your own. A large Cochrane review of behavioural support for smoking cessation found that support can increase quit rates at six months or longer, with no evidence that it increases harms. How well it works varies with the type of support provided, so finding an approach that suits you matters.³

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References

1. Tombor I, Shahab L, Brown J, Notley C, West R. Does non-smoker identity following quitting predict long-term abstinence? Evidence from a population survey in England. Addict Behav. 2015;45:99–103. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2015.01.026

2. Lam CY, Businelle MS, Aigner CJ, McClure JB, Cofta-Woerpel L, Cinciripini PM, et al. Individual and combined effects of multiple high-risk triggers on postcessation smoking urge and lapse. Nicotine Tob Res. 2014;16(5):569–575. doi:10.1093/ntr/ntt190

3. Hartmann-Boyce J, Livingstone-Banks J, Ordóñez-Mena JM, Fanshawe TR, Lindson N, Freeman SC, et al. Behavioural interventions for smoking cessation: an overview and network meta-analysis. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2021;(1). doi:10.1002/14651858.CD013229.pub2

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Disclaimer: This information is not intended to be used as medical advice or a substitute for your own practitioner's advice, nor is it intended to be used for diagnosis or treatment for any illness/disease.

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